FWIW, most people I know have indicated that the Akhu seem to… mellow, a bit, after death, especially after a few years. Death is sobering, and gives you a very different perspective. So how someone was in life may not be how they are/what they desire in death. Also, Akhu are free to (and absolutely do, when they want!) refuse offerings or practices, or simply not show up at all.
So I wouldn’t worry too much. Just offer, pray, and whoever is open to that will accept it.
I have been pulled more and more to Akhu practices. I work with Nebthet and Hethert-Amenti, and there’s a lot of Akhu-ish stuff going on in Sekhmet-Nut who has also entered my life. I try to offer when I can whether it’s through Kemetic or Heathen practices, and I have been called to extend my KO divination method (Fedw) to the Akhu so that I can divine on their behalf.
It feels… weird. I’d spent many years avoiding the Akhu because honestly, no real connection to the blood family, etc. But I stated trying to work on that, and also, I did my first Heathen ritual. It did the same “sit down and feel them” thing for the Akhu as Kemetic stuff often does for the Gods. And I felt the Akhu and their love. And since then I’ve had a better connection and felt more pulled to work with them.
I include blood Akhu, nervously, in my Akhu, as well as community Akhu (nameless at this time, but like, LGBT Akhu and such), various non-blood Akhu, as well as the Pharaohs and their representations.